Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness

Andrew Brown; loved hunting and learning about history, passed away February 3, 2013 at age 18 after a life dealing with Duchene Muscular Dystrophy. Jesse Hourigan; described by Autumn Beltinck as having “a heart as big as his smile”, passed away March 6, 2013  at age 18 after an 18 month battle with Leukemia. Jackson Gangwer; a little athlete, played football, basketball and baseball, passed away April 10, 2013 at age 12 because of a gun accident.

While I did not personally know any of these boys, they have all touched my life and the lives of the people at Fenton High School.

Students nneeded to understand that feeling grieving was normal, that they had to express how they felt in a healthy way and that process would be different for everyone.
 

Surprisingly, teachers and counselors made little effort to help the students understand what had happened and how to deal with what they were feeling. My theory was the teachers and counselors did not know themselves how to cope properly.

Turning to a professional was my only option. I called clinical psychologist Steven Craig to ask questions for my article and hoped he could shed some light onto my various questions.

What are the proper coping skills to employ in times of stress and sorrow and why do people feel like a failure going to see a therapist?

Witnessing the devastation of these three brutally real events, I realized just how poorly equipped children and teenagers are to deal with tragedies.

No one at school knew that it was okay to cry and be sad and to talk about feelings. Most people were shocked for a few days, walking the halls with dazed faces and red puffy eyes. But after awhile the only indication anything had changed could be found deep inside the grieving heart.

Being a writer, I wrote my feelings. Tears turned into words, poems and articles.

At the time of Jackson’s passing, I decided to write a story for my high school newspaper about coping skills.

“The best methods of coping are crying or talking,” clinical psychologist Steven Craig said. “Many people feel uncomfortable talking to a therapist; they see it as a sign of weakness. That is not true. Therapy is a coping skills class.”

If coping skills were as easy as expressing emotion, why was it so difficult to accomplish? The answer to that question still eludes me and probably always will.

It’s disheartening to think about and see people struggle so much to understand tragedy and cope in positive ways.

In a perfect world, children would not have to deal with death. In a perfect world, children would never have to grow up. The world is not perfect and growing up is a part of life. If ignorant parents and teachers refuse to teach children coping skills then who will?

Life Happens, Learn To Live With It | Infographics